MY DARLING PRINCESS
The most daunting task to study in London for me is to stay away from my darling daughter and wife.
Though technology makes it easy to stay connected with my lifelines over phone, e-mail and Skype, but the more I talk the more I miss them.
I have lost the number of counts I have watched the video where Anna speaking KITTU for the first time. Archana mailed it to me yesterday evening.
Though she is calling her elder sister it makes me feel she is calling me with my nickname. My ecstasy has no boundaries, I am jumping all over the place whenever I see her in the video…Woooo my princess is growing up. Every step she takes makes me match her footsteps, every fall throws me up to hold her, but the computer screen cuts me to the harsh reality.
The joy of watching Anna grow is unparalleled and the curse of staying away from her is the worst thing that can happen to any father.
Last weekend when we chatted over Skype and she innocently offered Maggie noodles to the computer screen where she was watching me.’ Deda’ she said and I felt wish the computer screen becomes a fantasy film screen I would just jump and reach her…Childish but true.
I always wanted to relive my childhood with her as she grows up. I never wanted to do this to myself, more so to her and Archana, I wanted to be with her, watch every step she takes but somehow destiny had other plans.
I miss holding her in my arms and walking through the night to put her to sleep, miss singing to her so that she can sleep, miss walking up in midnight to see if she is sleeping well…God I miss her a lot…When she calls and says ‘Deda Aao’, I want to just dash off to be with her.
As I lose the plot and come up with most childish behaviour, Archana, my life support system, my wife walks in and holds me up. Had it not been for her I would never have been able to come to London and study. She’s the only one who believes in my madness and dreams, one who pushes me to take the risks and see them through.
I owe it all to her.
She brings all the smiles to me and anna…When the three of us were on Skype I asked ANNA kiski hai and after a naughty pause looking at both of us she said Deda….I was over the moon, laughter filled the cyberspace and I missed the joy we used to share..Asking Anna who she belongs to has been a ritual for us and anna depending on her mood would say Mama or Deda..It was great to live the moment online, but can never be the same when we are together..
As Christmas approaches the fun we three had last time haunts me, dressing anna as Santa, decorating the small Christmas tree singing carols was so much fun. I am going to miss all that..wish Santa is around and all I would ask for a Xmas gift is to be with my lifelines….